I had dinner with my cousin Maj. Andrew (Drew) Warren and his lovely/lively wife Alice last night. I mentioned that just that morning I was in Barnes and Noble and happened upon a new book, Warlords, by 2LT Ilario Pantano, a Marine you may remember from the trial over his accusal of murder of two insurgents in the combat zone. Pantano had served under my cousin while awaiting trial and I found his acknowledgement in the first pages of the book: "To Maj. Warren for teaching us to 'be the hunter instead of the hunted.'"
We talked about Pantano for a bit then Drew asked if I'd heard of Maj. Doug Zembiec? I read and watch plenty of network and cable news, yet the name didn't ring a bell. He said he'd just returned from Zembiec's funeral in DC and wondered aloud why the media didn't make a big deal about the death of a man like Maj. Zembiec with whom he'd served in Kosovo, Afghanistan and Iraq. Zembiec was the commander of E Company, 2nd Battalion, 1st Marine Regiment. He has become known as the Lion of Fallujah, after a comment he made to the press after a fierce battle that his Marines "fought like lions..." but he was also given the name for his own personal tenacity and toughness.
I know Drew pretty well and when he (like most Marines) is impressed by someones character that person must be one heck of a leader. I found some stories about Maj. Zembiec and added them here so my readers will have a chance to know Maj. Zembiec and remember him for his service and sacrifice.
Defeating the Big Things Find your place to stand and you can move your world!
I was wandering around downtown Wilmington, North Carolina last week admiring the waterfront area with its restaurants, coffee houses, bars, antique stores, art galleries, and scores of other small businesses. I grabbed a cup of coffee from a local shop and stood admiring the water lapping against the wooden walkway that snakes along the waterfront giving visitors a great view of the spires and towers of the city's oldest attraction, the retired battleship North Carolina. I was lost--my mind numbed by repetitive slap, slap, slapping of the water against the wood. Suddenly someone touched my arm. I was so surprised I jumped, sloshing coffee all over the wooden planks. I turned to find a young man with a beard standing looking at me. While I was shocked by the encounter, he seemed nonplussed. I smiled to hide my embarrassment and he returned the smile as he apologized for scaring me. "Sorry bout that man!"
I did my best to play it off, but how often does a stranger actually touch you? I was in my own world one moment, the next a total stranger was inside my space bubble and touching my arm. Once I had my wits about me, I looked at the young man: he was dressed in dirty flip-flops and his feet were caked with grime. His shorts and zip-front sweat shirt had smudges of dirt and food drippings long-ground into the cotton fabric. His beard was scraggly and uncut for some time.
"Hey man, I'm trying to get one of those cups of coffee . . ." he pointed toward my half-full cup. "And I wonder if you might have a few extra coins . . . a quarter or two?" How often had I heard that line? I live in downtown DC where every twenty feet someone needs a little money "for bus fare just to get home," or "trying to get something to eat" or a "homeless Vietnam vet" trying to make do. Yet, this guy was different. First off he was young--maybe late twenties and most of the sidewalk and door frame panhandlers in DC are older.
In DC when asked for money for something to eat, I usually ask if I can get them something to eat at the closest fast food place. That usually ends the conversation as the person is not really going to use the money for food--I assume the real need is alcohol or drugs.
So, I offered to walk with guy back to the coffee shop to refill my cup and buy him one. To my surprise he accepted. As we walked I decided to strike up a conversation during which he was surprisingly open and frank. His name was Brian and he'd come to town a few years ago to attend college at UNC Wilmington but never graduated. He surfed. He worked as a "grip" in the local movie industry "sometimes." He was living in the apartment of a girl he'd met surfing at Wrightsville Beach a few months ago. He slept in his sleeping bag in the living room of the one bedroom apartment, but she was moving back to New Jersey and he was looking for another place. He was smart, articulate, and had a warm, kind smile. How could this guy be on the streets?
As he loaded his coffee with enough sugar to make a small cake I asked why he hadn't finished his studies at UNCW. "It was too big for me. I stood back and looked at it and it was just too much." He pointed his wooden stirring stick at me and said, "You probably think I'm a druggie, don't you?" I was stunned. I mean, yes I had assumed he did drugs and that was the reason for his current state, but his direct question threw me off and I couldn't answer. "Sure, you do. But, I'm not. I don't do drugs or drink alcohol. I just can't deal with the world, man. If you can't win, why play?" He laughed and turned to leave. "Thanks for the coffee man I'll pay you back one day." He winked and ambled on down Front Street
I spent the afternoon thinking about Brian's fear of the world; because as I see it that's exactly what it is: .Fear. That is so foreign to me--it's just not the way I look at things. I see a hurdle or challenge and roll up my sleeves and figure out how to take it on. Brian was a reality check. Hey, Dale, not everyone sees the world as you do. Not everyone thinks there's a monster under the bed and grabs the broom to see if it's true. Some people look at "big things" and think them too big. Some see an obstacle in their path and turn around and go back instead of taking it on. Some hide under the covers until they fall asleep or the sun comes up.
Not everyone is as afflicted by their fear as Brian. You may not be surfing and sleeping in someone’s living room, but perhaps you are afraid to go back to school to finish your degree, or change jobs even though you know it would better your life, or stop smoking, or lose weight, or even to stand up and let your voice be heard.
One of my favorite new books (I've mentioned this before) is Robert Greene's The 33 Strategies of War. In it there is brilliant example of how Brian and people like him who are afraid to take on "big things." A lobster looks intimidating. Can you imagine what a shrimp sees when it comes across a lobster? Imagine, if you will, a monster lobster--one the size of an RV. How would you see it? Huge? Well-armored? Scary? Here's how Greene describes it: "Its sharp claws quick to grab, it's hard protective shell, it's powerful tail propelling it out of danger." Intimidating? Sure it is. But, stop for a moment and think of its weakness. Think of the best way to defeat it. Flip it over. Yes, it's that simple. Underneath there is very little of the thick plating found on top. There is a soft underbelly. Many cracks and chinks in the thinned armor. Plus, the lobster on its back is helpless. All you need to defeat the lobster is a stick. A lever! As Archimedes(who did not discover the lever, but was the first to offer a mathematical explanation of how one works)said, "Give me a place to stand and I will move the world."With these simple things the monster lobster is not so "big." Not so intimidating. Not so scary. In fact, once you have it on its back, it's downright pitiful.
Hello! I'm the author of this blog and the book, Great Big Small Things. I was born and raised in the small town of Richlands, Virginia, where my mother and father still live. I played football at Emory and Henry College and met Coach Fred Selfe there. He was strong, fair, courteous, caring, and demanding. He asked for excellence from each of his players and students. He gave us every tool and reason to reach the state of excellence. He led by example.
The more I see of the world--how it works and doesn't work, public policy, corporate, religion, life--the more I long for the simple, rock solid values Coach Selfe taught those who witnessed the way he lived his life--courage, character, principles, and always serving others.
Show our troops and their families you appreciate them!!
MY DAD, JOSEPH B. MCGLOTHLIN SAYS:
"Please remember our troops and their families each and every day!"
FRED SELFE DAY 2009!
One day of service to others/one day of business, education, military, sports and religious leaders talking about how to use the lessons of Fred Selfe's life to make the world around you a better place. Make it happen. Pitch in and honor a man who gave so much to his fellow man. Help keep his spirit alive and keep "paying it forward." More info. to follow!